Shhhhhhhhh.......

I keep trying to go faster and faster wanting to never slow down.  Slowing down means seeing that I haven’t accomplished anything truly meaningful.  When I keep moving I can’t see that I’m lonely, if I keep my mind occupied it doesn’t bother me that I’m REALLY overweight, and when your exhausted you don’t care if everything is neat and tidy.  Basically my goal at night is to fall into bed exhausted so I fall right to sleep—so I don’t have that time to reflect.  In doing so I don’t stay home for long periods of time, I can’t stand things being quite, and I find it impossible to just sit still and just be in the moment. 

However as I’ve gotten older I realize that by doing this I am really cheating myself out of a lot.  When I’m moving dozens of different directions I can’t focus on any one thing to either master the task or to truly appreciate what I’m experiencing.  When I constantly keep myself stimulated my artwork suffers and I never keep with one art project long enough to turn out quality work or to truly learn an art form.

The other thing is that by keeping busy and surrounding myself with noise I can’t hear God.  When God appeared to Elijah he was not in the wind, the earthquake, or the fire he was in a whisper. (1kings 19:11-12)  He’s not going to shout it out to me over the commotion I’ve created for myself.  I don’t know what my calling from God is because I won’t be still and listen.

There is one other factor though that I’ve failed to mention.  The World helps you stay busy and stimulated.  There is plenty of bread and circuses to keep people occupied.  Knowing that I must slow down it has become apparent that I not only have to want to be quite and reflective but; I have to consciously make it happen. 

There are always going to be things to pull at me to distract me.  I have to make it a priority; I have to start saying “No” especially to myself and discipline myself stay home and focus on the things that are important and need to be worked on.