A Thought on Self-Control

Self-control, supposedly I have it.  I have a hard time believing that at times.  My friends and family will point our things that I have done that require discipline but I shrug them off because for whatever reason it wasn’t hard.  But the things I REALLY want, these are the things that are hard and yet I haven’t been able at this point to get myself together. 

 Weight would be one of the biggest areas.  I have been overweight for a while.  Currently I am at 300lbs.  I want to be thin and beautiful but; apparently I want to be fat and lazy even more.  If I really wanted it I should be able to look at a bottle of soda and say "no, I want to be thin more then I want that soda".  Instead I get angry why do I have to diet?  Like this is some punishment handed down by God.  Others don’t have to diet and they are fine.  Why me?

What a stupid and utterly selfish way of thinking.  First off as I have learned while trying to save up my first $1,000:

·         I have to choose to deliberately to make the right actions.

·         What other people are or are not doing is not important it is only important what I do to reach my goals.

·         My mindset has to change before my actions change.

·         Find a way that works best for you.  Don’t worry about whether it looks silly or seems old fashion only worry about the results. 

I have gained this knowledge now I just need to apply it from one area (finances) into another area (weight loss).  One would think that I have put a lot of time into this already. After all I, like a lot of women, can name almost every diet and at times can tell you the calories of most foods.  But that is not really thinking about it —what have I come up with for me?  And that is what I need to spend some time thinking about.

What I Did on Sumer Vacation

Have you ever had a fantastic summer where you did the coolest thing and had a total blast?  Then you went to school and the first assignment the teacher gives you is to write about what you did on summer vacation.  All of a sudden every cool thing you did goes flying out of your ears and you can’t think of one solitary thing you can write about.  That pretty much sums up my thinking for today.  Never fear next week I will have an amazing and thought provoking blog.

The Enemy of the Great is the Good:

(The following is based on: 4 Disciplines of Execution CD with speaker Chris McChesney from the Franklin-Covey Company)

            As I have stated in one of my earlier post I am a huge self-help geek.  I love to read the books, attend seminars and listen to the CD’s constantly.  Franklin-Covey has one on accomplishing what it calls your “W.I.G.” which stands for your Wildly Important Goals. Among all the great things it discusses as obstacles that get in the way of achieving your goals is trying to do too much.  That to obtain your goals you have to say no to things that are merely good and focus your energies exclusively on the great.

            I have found that this is a very important key for me.  I am the queen of multi-tasking.  So much so that I actually hate to sleep because I can’t do anything else while sleeping and that annoys me.  It feels like I’m wasting time just “laying there”.  They recommend you focus on only three WIGs at a time.  I have found it very helpful and I have created my three however; I keep trying to add or focus on other things.  This leads me to becoming sidetracked.  For example currently I am looking for new employment.  Instead of putting most of my energy into this I’ve derailed myself by trying to create artwork for an art show I be participating in October.  The one is my WIG the other is not but it is something that will eventually be a WIG when I’ve completed one of the others. Because I have not focused on finding employment I do not have the time and resources that the new job would give me so I can do quality artwork.  And down the spiral I go.    

How do you do it?  How do you focus like a laser beam on what you truly want?  Franklin-Covey recommend weekly meetings and keeping a score board to keep track.  But when it’s only you doing these things it’s hard to maintain the necessary discipline.  If you only have 3 runways you can’t land 4 planes at one time.  There will be a crash! Which could not only take out one of my WIGs but could take out the others as well.  You just have to make the decision daily to keep with your goals.  It’s a struggle but if I can overcome it I would take a giant step forward in making the life changes I want to achieve.

Where I am right now II:

Financial:

     As of this writing I have reached my first financial goal of saving $1,000.00

     I have been saving over 10% of my pay check and putting it in savings

     I have been tithing on every pay check to either the church, Red Cross, or a ministry

Physical:

     I have not accomplished anything on my physical goals.

Personal Development:

     I have created two pieces of chain mail jewelry

     I have purchased a panel at Archon 36 to display my art work—though I don’t have any art work to display at the moment.

     I am averaging reading two books a month at the moment.

     Due to my work schedule I cannot participate at the Artist Guild so this goal will have to be put on hold

Family:

     I have gone out with my brother at least once every month

     My room primarily is being kept clean; I am having more success keep the car in order though.  Although I do need to vacuum.  Overall though I’ve kept it clean.

     I have gone out with my mom at least once every month

Spiritual:

     I have not actively done my daily devotional time

     I have attended Eucharistic Adoration at minimum once per month usually I have gone twice.

     Due to my work schedule I cannot make the morning masses as originally planned so this goal will need to be placed on hold

Social:

     I have lost a solid 10lbs so far but I still have a ways to go to get to 160lbs

     I have been using YOUTUBE to learn new hair and makeup routines.

     I have not done anything to plan a creative trip for myself yet this year

Professional:

     I have held meetings with the CCO weekly the majority of the time

     I have not really focused on finding what other people’s needs are and finding ways to help.  However I have reached the 3 gallon donation mark for blood at the Red Cross and starting on Monday I will be donating platelets.

     I have not created nor honestly have I researched creating multiple streams of income.  This is something that I REALLY need to address.

OOOPS!

So I have found that the maintaining a blog is far more difficult then I expected.  It’s like assigning myself a creative writing paper every week.  I’ve found that if I don’t have a teacher threatening my grade I don’t turn it in—I really don’t want to write a paper.  Still I believe the accountability factor is really going to help me.  So I am hitting the RESET button and start blogging again.  I’m also going to change my due date to Mondays. 

How I’m Doing So Far?

Financial: I’ve been tithing, I got promotion which came with a raise however; I haven’t been saving.  I need to focus my energies on saving as much as I can.

Physical: I have been eating less with smaller portions but; I am more dependent on soda then ever.  Since I’ve moved to the overnight shift I actually believe I’ve gotten worse instead of better.  I’ve managed to workout about 2 days a week.  I haven’t attended Zumba like I wanted mainly because I find it’s impossible to get up after only 4hrs of sleep to get out of bed.

Personal Development: I have been reading so that is staying inline with my one of my goals.  However I have not done any arts and crafts since I’ve moved to the overnight shift.  It is my hope that I can designate Monday nights as an art night while all the others are asleep—I’ll be up because of my odd sleeping schedule.  With my hours and days off I really don’t see how I will be able to be an active member to the artist guild.  I might have to change this goal.

Family: This seems to be the only category that I have actually succeeded in keeping with my priorities.  Although my room could use more work but still a lot of progress has been made here.

Social:  Other then attending one additional adoration I have virtually failed every aspect of this as well.  Another area I need to focus my energies into.

Social:  I’ve watched some You Tube videos but I haven’t been wearing makeup and my new job has not been conducive to wearing my hair in anything other then a ballerina bun.  The weight has not been dropping off and I haven’t even thought of a creative holiday since this new job hit.

Professional: I have had weekly meetings with the CCO but the other two goals have not even been touched.

I realize that while I’ve been trying to cram in all the training for this new job and adapting to working overnight is only going to be a temporary thing.  I still have plenty of time over the year to focus on the things that are getting ignored in the short term.  I just don’t want this to be another year where nothing improves.

The Enemy of Initiative is Habit

I’m finding that 2012 has definitely become a year of dramatic changes.  I applied for a management job.  I didn’t get it however; because I showed initiative I was promoted to Sr. Lead in a completely different department.  So I now have higher pay, more responsibilities, and people who report to me.  All because I applied for a job opening that I really didn’t have a chance of getting.  This leads me to wonder what other opportunities in life have I missed because I believed it was too out of my league not realizing there were possibly other things I could have obtained that were around it.

Initiative: 1) the action of taking the first step or move; responsibility for beginning or originating 2) the characteristic of originating new ideas or methods; ability to think and act without being urged; enterprise.

(Webster’s New world College Dictionary 4^th Edition—emphasis my own)

The definition of initiative really says it all.  It is taking those first precious steps of starting and the real key is taking those steps without being told to do so.  That means breaking out of the routine, deliberately thinking differently, and scariest of all is putting myself out there because others aren’t doing it.  This is particularly difficult for me because I am such a creature of habit.

Habit: 4a) a thing done often and hence, usually, done easily; practice; custom b) a pattern of action that is acquired and has become so automatic that it is difficult to break 5) a tendency to perform a certain action or behave in a certain way; usual way; usual way of doing.

(Webster’s New world College Dictionary 4^th Edition—emphasis my own)

I am the type of person who believes in standardizing everything.  In the morning I line out all my morning cleaning products in order of use.  (Cleanser, toothpaste, mouthwash, toner, serum, face moisturizer, eye moisturizer, deodorant, perfume, and hand moisturizer.)  The reason I do this is because I am not the most awake person in the morning so by putting things in order I won’t miss a step/product. When I buy tacos at Taco Bell I get two crunchy and two soft and then I eat them in alternating order. I don’t have a rational reason why I do this.  I love animal prints but I don’t like mixing them so I figured out which I like best (leopard) and so I only buy things in leopard so it doesn’t clash with everything else I own.  If there is no real difference between which way I go I always go right because I’m right handed.

Funny enough there is an actual thought out reason why I standardize.  In my freshman year of college I had a psychology class.  The professor told us that if you have two equal amounts of food on either side and you put a mouse exactly equal distance from both foods it will just sit there because it can’t figure out where to go first.  Supposedly the mouse will stand there looking at them till it gets so hungry it collapses falling in one direction and then it will race off to that food because now it is closer to the food it fell towards.  I decided that since I am smarter than a mouse I should have a default setting so I won’t have that hesitation I’ll just act.  (This could also be the root reason why indecisive people annoy the hell out of me.)

Now obviously brushing my teeth before I put on cleanser is not going to boost my career or elevate my earnings but; it does illustrate how I continuously set things up so I can just cruise through life.  And it doing so I am limiting my ability to use my initiative to do things differently and set myself a part by creating habits that allow me to coast and stay in the mediocre norm.   So now I need to start asking myself what habits are holding me back?  And then look for innovated ways to do them differently.

Windmills of Your Mind

Windmills of Your Mind is a song written by  Noel Harrison.  It has been covered by many artist but the best version  that truly captures how feel and try to go through life was done by the Muppets:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xu_6hdGZ6gU

Here are the words to the song:

Round, like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel.
Never ending or beginning
On an ever spinning wheel
Like a snowball down a mountain
Or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning
Running rings around the moon

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on it's face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind

Like a tunnel that you follow
To a tunnel of it's own
Down a hollow to a cavern
Where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving
In a half forgotten dream
Or the ripples from a pebble
Someone tosses in a stream

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on it's face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind

Keys that jingle in your pocket
Words that jangle your head
Why did summer go so quickly
Was it something that I said
Lovers walking along the shore,
Leave their footprints in the sand
Was the sound of distant drumming
Just the fingers of your hand

Pictures hanging in a hallway
And a fragment of this song
Half remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong
When you knew that it was over
Were you suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hair

Like a a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
never ending or beginning.
On an ever spinning wheel
As the images unwind
Like the circle that you find
In the windmills of your mind

Pictures hanging in a hallway
And the fragment of this song
Half remembered names and faces
But to whom do they belong
When you knew that it was over where you suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hair

Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning
On an ever spinning wheel
As the images unwind
Like the cirlces that you find
In the windmills of your mind.

Shhhhhhhhh.......

I keep trying to go faster and faster wanting to never slow down.  Slowing down means seeing that I haven’t accomplished anything truly meaningful.  When I keep moving I can’t see that I’m lonely, if I keep my mind occupied it doesn’t bother me that I’m REALLY overweight, and when your exhausted you don’t care if everything is neat and tidy.  Basically my goal at night is to fall into bed exhausted so I fall right to sleep—so I don’t have that time to reflect.  In doing so I don’t stay home for long periods of time, I can’t stand things being quite, and I find it impossible to just sit still and just be in the moment. 

However as I’ve gotten older I realize that by doing this I am really cheating myself out of a lot.  When I’m moving dozens of different directions I can’t focus on any one thing to either master the task or to truly appreciate what I’m experiencing.  When I constantly keep myself stimulated my artwork suffers and I never keep with one art project long enough to turn out quality work or to truly learn an art form.

The other thing is that by keeping busy and surrounding myself with noise I can’t hear God.  When God appeared to Elijah he was not in the wind, the earthquake, or the fire he was in a whisper. (1kings 19:11-12)  He’s not going to shout it out to me over the commotion I’ve created for myself.  I don’t know what my calling from God is because I won’t be still and listen.

There is one other factor though that I’ve failed to mention.  The World helps you stay busy and stimulated.  There is plenty of bread and circuses to keep people occupied.  Knowing that I must slow down it has become apparent that I not only have to want to be quite and reflective but; I have to consciously make it happen. 

There are always going to be things to pull at me to distract me.  I have to make it a priority; I have to start saying “No” especially to myself and discipline myself stay home and focus on the things that are important and need to be worked on.    

Goals for 2012

Financial:

• $1,000 in emergency savings
• Save 10% of each paycheck and place in savings account
• Tithing of 10% of every paycheck to one of the following
• Church
• Red Cross
• Ministry Outreach

Physical:

• Portion control for all meals
• Total break from soda
• Making Exercise a priority in my daily life by doing one of the following activities
• 30min Curves workout
• Zumba class
• Walk Slim DVD
• Sweating to the Oldies
• Roller Skating

Personal Developments:

• Focus on three (and only three crafts)
• T-shirt Design
• Painting
• Chain Mail Jewelry
• Read at least one book a month
• Join and participate in the Artist Guild

Family:

• Plan one thing to do with my brother every month
• Make keeping my room and car in order top priority
• Plan one thing to do with mom every month

Spiritual:

• Actively plan my daily devotional time
• Rosary
• Bible Study
• Prayer
• Attend at least one eucharistic adoration per month
• Attend at least one additional mass per month

Social:

• Lose 160lbs
• Use YOUTUBE to learn new hair and makeup routines
• Go on creative trip by myself once this year

Professional:

• Weekly meeting with CCO
• Focus on finding what other people's needs are and final an outlet/media for helping them
• Focus on creating multiple streams of income.

Day One, Act One, Scene One

So here it is another year and this year I desperately want things to be different than last and the year before that… and really from the last seven years.  My hope and prayer is that by blogging about what life changes I want to make and then what I’m doing to achieve those changes I will be held accountable and actually change.  These are not resolutions these are things that I know, that I know, that I know if I don’t do my life will continue to spiral downward.  I don’t want to continue to live in the mediocre life I have created but live the exceptional life that God has created me for.

I am a self-help reading nut.  From Zig Zigglar to Dan Miller to Stephan Covey I’ve read them all and have extracted things from reading them that I plan on incorporating into my life.  Also being a Christian I incorporate the Bible and various teachers and scholars knowledge and suggestions to help guide me.

I’ve broken everything into seven categories: Financial, Physical, Personal Development, Family, Spiritual, Social, and Professional.  Basically the idea is to highlight and focus on what I don’t like within these areas and figure out where and how to make adjustments.

A journey starts with a single step; but it will end if you don't continue taking steps forward.  I pray that this is the first of many steps.  I welcome any and all who wish to follow along or just to observe in my adventure.  I plan on posting every Sunday throughout 2012—Lets see where this path will lead.